Trailer Snark (May 26, 2017 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Eric from View from Above, Robert from Cards and Counters, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (Disney) – Adventure/Fantasy
Rated PG-13 for sequences of adventure violence, and some suggestive content
Tag Line: None
Starring: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Javier Bardem
Plot: Captain Jack Sparrow searches for the trident of Poseidon.
Running Time: 129 minutes

Chris: I’m ready to dust off that bottle of rum and raise that jolly roger.  Jack Sparrow is back!
Robert: Really….. Another One?….. I say that as I look at show times for this weekend.
Jim: I know, another one—but my daughter loves them, I like them, and I love movies that I can enjoy with my daughter.

Baywatch (Paramount) – Action/Comedy/Drama
Rated R for language throughout, crude sexual content, and graphic nudity
Tag Line: Go ahead and stare.
Starring: Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson, Alexandra Daddario, Zac Effron
Plot: Devoted lifeguard Mitch Buchanan butts heads with a brash new recruit. Together, they uncover a local criminal plot that threatens the future of the Bay.
Running Time: 116 minutes

Jim: Never watched the show, but worth a rental. In other words, see-worthy. Heh heh.
Chris:  like The Rock, but I remember that moment when David Hasselhoff became uncool when I was a youngster.  When he traded in the leather jacket for the orange trunks.
Robert: (eye roll) You mean to tell me that a life guard is so proud of his job that he going to act like an FBI agent? Get outta here.

Long Strange Trip (Amazon Studios) – Documentary
Rated R for drug content throughout, language and some graphic nudity
Tag Line: The untold story of the Grateful Dead.
Starring: You know who.
Plot: The tale of the Grateful Dead is inspiring, complicated, and downright messy. A tribe of contrarians, they made art out of open-ended chaos and inadvertently achieved success on their own terms. Never-before-seen footage and interviews offer this unprecedented and unvarnished look at the life of the Dead.
Running Time: 238 minutes

Robert: I like music history. I took a lot of music classes in college, so I enjoy documentaries on anything music. But I’m glad Amazon Prime… I don’t have to pay for it. That is if I remember to stream it.
Jim: Not a big fan of the band, so gets a blank, hazy,  stare from me.
Chris: Not a fan of this band, so my interest is Dead on Arrival.

Drone (Screen Media Films) – Thriller
Not Rated
Tag Line: Choose your targets wisely.
Starring: Sean Bean, Mary McCormack, Patrick Sabongui
Plot: Ideologies collide with fatal results when a military drone contractor meets an enigmatic Pakistani businessman.
Running Time: 91 minutes

Chris: Could be an entertaining thriller, but not enough to get me to the theater.  Will Sean Bean lose his head again?  Stay tuned.
Robert: I can see this being a roller coaster of emotions. Sean Bean is just one of those ones where you gotta like whatever he’s in. But I will save this one for the small screen.
Jim: Kind of like Patriot Games, but this time Sean Bean’s the good guy.

Tickets Purchased: 3 for Pirates of the Caribbean!

C'mon, that was punny!
C’mon, that was punny!
Leave a Reply