Trailer Snark (June 24, 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: Was there ever any doubt?  Finding Dory topped the box office with $136.1M.  Central Intelligence managed a solid second place debut with $34.5M.  The Conjuring 2 slipped to third place with $15.5M to add to its $71.7M domestic total.  The rest of the list did not manage double digits and came in this order:  Now You See Me 2 ($9.6M/$41.3M), Warcraft ($6.5M/$37.7M), X-Men: Apocalypse ($5.2M/$143M), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:  Out of the Shadows ($5.2M/$71.9M), Me Before You ($4.1M/$46.3M), Alice Through the Looking Glass ($3.6M/$69.3M), and Captain America: Civil War ($2.2M/$401.2M).  This week’s contenders are…..

Independence Day: Resurgence (Twentieth Century Fox) – Action/Sci-Fi
Rated PG – 13 for sequences of sci – fi action and destruction, and for some language
Tag Line: We had twenty years to prepare. So did they.
Starring: Liam Hemsworth, Jeff Goldblum, Bill Pullman
Plot: Two decades after the first Independence Day invasion, Earth is faced with a new extra-Solar threat. But will mankind’s new space defenses be enough?
Running Time: 120 minutes

Chris: I was one of the few people I know that did not enjoy it the first time around.  I guarantee you I will not be rushing out to see the sequel.
Jessica: YESSSSS!!! I ADORE the first movie for it’s goofy America-ness so I am soo there for this one. It looks equally as fun and has a Hemsworth in it to boot (any Hemsworth will do really).
Jim: 20 years ago, a big-budget alien invasion movie was still something of a novelty. Now they’re a dime a dozen. I’m not sure how many people are interested in this, could be this year’s Terminator: Genisys.  That  said, the trailer’s well done, evoking the enjoyably corny too-muchness of  the original.
Ken: That looked sweet, guess I should get around to watching the first movie at some point. Earth should build a wall around the planet to keep the alien invaders out. And have the aliens pay for it.

The Shallows (Columbia) – Drama/Horror
Rated PG – 13 for bloody images, intense sequences of peril, and brief strong language
Tag Line: Plan your getaway.
Starring:  Blake Lively, Oscar Jaenada
Plot: A mere 200 yards from shore, surfer Nancy is attacked by a great white shark, with her short journey to safety becoming the ultimate contest of wills.
Running Time: 87 minutes

Jessica: Good timing with Shark Week starting on Saturday, it shows A LOT in the trailer so that concerns me, I’d watch this at home though because I do enjoy a good shark flick and this has potential to be good.
Jim: The Shallows—Jaws and Open Water did it for me. What more can anyone really add to another shark attack movie without it appearing drawn out and/or ridiculous?
Ken: She’s gonna need a bigger surfboard. Probably pass on this one, but that is one cool looking shark.
Chris: I hate that they show you so much in the trailer, but it sure freaks me out something fierce.  I am ready to squirm in my seat!

Free State of Jones (STX Entertainment) – Biography/Drama
Rated R for brutal battle scenes and disturbing graphic images
Tag Line: Based on the incredible true story.
Starring: Matthew McCounaghey, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Keri Russell
Plot: As civil war divides the nation, a poor farmer from Mississippi leads a group of rebels against the Confederate army.
Running Time: 139 minutes

Jim: Civil War movies have always held an appeal for me. That and Matthew McConaughey—I’m in.
Ken: Love me some Civil War. The McConaughey revival marches on.
Chris: Looks like a solid civil war era military drama… cup of tea.
Jessica: I do enjoy Matthew and this looks like a solid pick, but I’d watch it at home, not the theater.

The Neon Demon (Broad Green Pictures) – Drama/Horror
Rated R for disturbing violent content, bloody images, graphic nudity, a scene of aberrant sexuality, and language
Tag Line: Beauty isn’t everything it’s the only thing.
Starring:  Elle Fanning, Christina Hendricks, Keanu Reeves
Plot: When aspiring model Jesse moves to Los Angeles, her youth and vitality are devoured by a group of beauty-obsessed women who will take any means necessary to get what she has.
Running Time: 117 minutes

Ken: I don’t know what I just watched, but I didn’t like it.
Chris: Psycho model Elle Fanning.  I remember when she was such a sweet girl.  Pass.
Jessica: Looks interesting but I really didn’t like “Drive” all that much and a movie about unhappy models…Meh.
Jim: Trying too hard to impress me with its weirdness.

Weiner Dog (IFC Films) – Comedy
Rated R for language and some disturbing content.
Tag Line: None
Starring: Danny Devito, Ellen Burnstyn
Plot: A dachshund passes from oddball owner to oddball owner, whose radically dysfunctional lives are all impacted by the pooch.
Running Time: 90 minutes

Chris: Was that supposed to be funny?
Jessica: This one charmed me I have to say. I’d watch it at home for sure.
Jim: Couldn’t be less interested.
Ken: I found this oddly charming, but not enough to make a trip out of it. Renter maybe.

Hunt for the Wilderpeople (The Orchard) – Adventure/Comedy
Rated PG-13 for thematic elements including violent content, and for some language
Tag Line: None
Starring:  Sam Neill, Julian Denson
Plot: A national manhunt is ordered for a rebellious kid and his foster uncle who go missing in the wild New Zealand bush.
Running Time: 101 minutes

Jessica: I am already in love with this movie. Great casting, I loved “What We Do In The Shadows” so I have a feeling the humor will be spot-on and creative.
Jim: Looks funny and enjoyable.  Sam Neill is always a plus.
Ken: The dialogue had me in stitches.  I’ll definitely be streaming this down the line.
Chris:  Now, THAT looks funny.

Tickets Purchased: Two for Independence Day (Jessica and Ken), One for Hunt for the Wilderpeople (Jim), and One for The Shallows (Chris).

Keanu's movie didn't get picked by anyone this week, but he is so captionable!
Keanu’s movie didn’t get picked by anyone this week, but he is so captionable!
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