Trailer Snark (March 4 2016 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week:  There was no stopping the merc with a mouth, as Deadpool spent a third week atop the box office charts, shaking off a pathetic challenge from the second place Gods of Egypt.  Fox scored another $31.5M for their R-rated superhero entry to bring the total domestic haul to $285.6M.  The aforementioned Gods of Egypt took in $14M in its debut.  In third was Kung Fu Panda 3 ($9M/$128.4M).  Fourth place belonged to the Christian drama Risen ($7M/$22.7M) and fifth was the debut of Eddie the Eagle with $6.3M.  Triple 9 could not break the top five and ended up with a $6.1M debut in sixth.  The rest of the top ten went as follows:  How to Be Single ($5.1M/$39.6M), The Witch ($5M/$16.6M), Race ($4.2M/$13.8M), and The Revanant ($3.8M/$170.5M).  So, who are this week’s contenders to Deadpool’s bullet-riddled crown?

Zootopia (Disney) – Family/Animated
Rated PG for some thematic elements, rude humor and action
Tag Line: Welcome to the urban jungle.
Starring: Ginnefer Goodwin, Jason Bateman, Idris Elba
Plot: In a city of anthropomorphic animals, a fugitive con artist fox and a rookie bunny cop must work together to uncover a conspiracy.
Running Time: 108 minutes

Chris: I must admit to being amused with the trailer.  Perhaps it is the mood of the political season, but I feel the need for something light-hearted and innocent.
Ken: I saw an extended trailer for this before Star Wars and I thought it was hysterical. Not a theater experience for me, but I’ll definitely catch this one at home.
Jim: Been laughing at this trailer for months, particularly the Sloth version. A must-see.
Jessica: The sloth cracks me up. I’d watch this on the strength of that alone.
Rob:  I’m all over this!!

London Has Fallen (Gramercy) – Action/Drama
Rated R for strong violence and language throughout
Tag Line: Prepare for bloody hell.
Starring: Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman
Plot: In London for the Prime Minister’s funeral, Mike Banning discovers a plot to assassinate all the attending world leaders.
Running Time: 99 minutes

Rob: My interest has fallen.  Possible renter on a rainy day.
Chris: Make this the second straight week Gerard Butler has appeared in a movie I have no interest in.
Ken: I’d rather be waterboarded than suffer through this.
Jim: Olympus Has Fallen was pretty good as Die Hard knockoffs go. Not a lot of surprises here— might be good for a rental where I’m half awake on the couch.
Jessica: The first one was enjoyable, a fun action romp so I’d totally watch this at home, for free. What is up with Butler these days? First Gods of Egypt (gag) and now this? He used to be better than this garbage.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (Paramount) – Comedy/War
Rated R for pervasive language, some sexual content, drug use and violent war images
Tag Line: None
Starring:  Tina Fey, Margot Robbie, Martin Freeman, Alfred Molina
Plot: A journalist recounts her wartime coverage in Afghanistan and Pakistan.
Running Time: 112 minutes

Jessica: I love Tina Fey and this look like a good film. Not one for the theater but one I’d watch at home and probably very much enjoy.
Rob: What the f?  Come on.  You all wanted to say it.  But I’m betting only a small number want to see it.
Chris: Could be an entertaining flick on the small screen?  A non-Tina Fey role for Tina Fey.
Ken: Starring Tina Fey as herself in someone else’s true story.
Jim: More entertaining than the stupid trailer from  that Tina Fey movie  with Amy Poehler a couple of months ago. Rental.

The Other Side of the Door (20th Century Fox) – Horror
Rated R for some bloody violence
Tag Line: It was never meant to be opened.
Starring: Sarah Wayne Callies, Jeremy Sisto
Plot: After her young son is killed in a tragic accident, a woman learns of a ritual which will bring him back to say goodbye, but when she disobeys a sacred warning, she upsets the balance between life and death.
Running Time: 96 minutes

Jim: Not even one frame of film that contains something that I haven’t seen in other horror trailers/movies. I felt like it was yawning at me.
Jessica: Of COURSE she opened it. Looks fairly tried and true as far as horror films go. I’ll pass.
Rob: Horror.  Pass.
Chris: Nothing worse than seeing the main character be so monumentally dumb, you want to reach through the screen and shake them.  Pass.
Ken: Horror movies are generally cliche, but this just looks lazy. The lock that bars the doorway to the realm of the dead is a stick?? Come on!

Knight of Cups (Broad Green Pictures) – Drama/Romance
Rated R for some nudity, sexuality and language
Tag Line: None
Starring: Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett, Natalie Portman
Plot: A writer indulging in all that Los Angeles and Las Vegas has to offer undertakes a search for love and self via a series of adventures with six different women.
Running Time: 118 minutes

Ken: Looks like someone made a feature length film out of an ad for cologne.
Jim: As soon as I can figure out what’s going on in the trailer, I’ll tell you that it’s a Terrence Malick movie and worth seeing.
Jessica: I read about this one and have ZERO interest in watching a self-absorbed man wander through life looking for love. Even if that man used to be my secret husband Christian Bale. I got bored watching the trailer. All set.
Rob: No thanks.
Chris: Is this the most pretentious garbage you have seen this year at Trailer Snark?  I thought so.

Tickets Purchased:  It’s a unanimous decision folks!  Zootopia for President!!!!!!

Can we get Judy Hopps to run for President?
Can we get Judy Hopps to run for President?
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