Trailer Snark (January 22nd Theatrical Releases)

 

Hail to the King baby!

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Last Week: Star Wars: The Force Awakens racked up another $37.2M in receipts bringing its still growing total domestic haul over $863M.  Internationally it’s a hair under $2B right now.  Yes, that’s two billion dollars!!!  The Revenant was able to edge out Star Wars for the weekly win domestically; the first film to do so since The Force Awakens was released on 12/18/15.  Ride Along 2 came in 3rd followed closely by 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi.  The four and five positions were taken by Daddy’s Home & The Big Short.  Things tapered off from there with Sisters, The Hateful Eight, The Forest, and Joy rounding out the Top 10.

This week’s new box office contenders are…

Dirty Grandpa (Lionsgate) – Comedy
Right before his wedding, an uptight guy is tricked into driving his grandfather, a perverted former Army general, to Florida for spring break.

Rated R for crude sexual content throughout, graphic nudity, and for language and drug use.
Runtime 102m

Chris:  I saw the title and immediately thought Johnny Knoxville, but instead got another De Niro cash grab.  Either way, it was a pass for me.
Jess:    Eh
Rob:     Gradma dies, and Grandpa (De Niro) and Grandson (Efron), who is about to get married, hit Daytona Beach to learn about smoking crack and partying. No thanks.
Jim:     Bobby, Bobby, Bobby…from Taxi Driver and Raging Bull to this. Might have a trainwreck appeal as a rental.
Ken:     So an old man and his grandson head down to spring break. He gets his perv on with a group of drunk, young girls while his grandson goes off to smoke crack. It’s like the setup to a bad joke.

 

The 5th Wave (Sony) – Sci-Fi
Four waves of increasingly deadly attacks have left most of Earth in ruin. Against a backdrop of fear and distrust, Cassie is on the run, desperately trying to save her younger brother. As she prepares for the inevitable and lethal fifth wave, Cassie teams up with a young man who may become her final hope – if she can only trust him.

Rated PG-13 for violence and destruction, some sci-fi thematic elements, language and brief teen partying. (Rob: Brief teen partying?  Oh no!  WTF!?  The MPAA are such morons.)
Runtime 112m

Chris:   Got to say the first half of the trailer had me hooked, but the second half seemed to change in tone, and my interest waned.  Could be this year’s Jupiter Ascending.
Jess:      I had heard about this book awhile back and at first was excited about this movie since the premise of the book sounded pretty good but they lost me by the end. Looks like ground covered by “The Hunger Games” and even “Twilight” to a certain extent, just with aliens.
Rob:     Teenage girl saves Earth from alien invasion.  Totally believable….um no.  Hopefully I am wrong since we need more good sci-fi flicks.
Jim:     another YA novel adaptation, but gotta admit this caught my interest. Could be good or it could be The Slumber Games.
Ken:    They lost me somewhere back around wave 3.

 

The Boy (Zero Media) – Horror
Greta is a young American woman who takes a job as a nanny in a remote English village, only to discover that the family’s 8-year-old is a life-sized doll that the parents care for just like a real boy, as a way to cope with the death of their actual son 20 years prior. After violating a list of strict rules, a series of disturbing and inexplicable events bring Greta’s worst nightmare to life, leading her to believe that the doll is actually alive.

Rated PG-13 for violence and terror, and for some thematic material
Runtime 97m

Chris:  Dolls are always sinister figures in horror cinema.  But this trailer may have shown too much.  I’ll check it out on the small screen for sure.
Jess:    Looks delightfully creepy!
Rob:     Genre=Horror.  Usually that would stop me there, except this time I saw Lauren Cohan’s smile (Maggie from Walking Dead).  So I decided I’d watch the whole trailer.  Then I saw the doll.  Lame factor went through the roof.  I was just about done, but then Lauren Cohan was in the shower.  Even that wasn’t enough to make me watch the whole trailer.  But hey, good try.  Pass.
Jim:     too much of it’s shown in the trailer, but man, I could literally feel the chills going through my spine ’cause o’ that doll! (No, not Lauren Cohan.)
Ken:     I hate when movies give away jump scares in the trailer. My sister in law loves scary doll movies and Lauren Cohan was in the shower so yeah I’ll probably watch this at some point.

 

Synchronicity (Magnolia) – Sci-Fi
A physicist who invents a time machine must travel back to the past to uncover the truth about his creation and the woman who is trying to steal it.

Rated R for language including some sexual references (Rob: So a few bad words and references to sex get an R but violence and destruction get a PG-13. Can you say Bass Ackwards MPAA? Thankfully there’s no teen partying in this so we didn’t have to go NC-17 though.)
Runtime 101m

Chris:  The Police should sue.
Jess:     I got a headache from this trailer, I can’t imagine the movie will do me any better. Skipping away happily ….
Rob:     Cool looking, time-travel flick.  Not a big screen kind of movie, at least based on this trailer.  Rental for sure though.  More Sci-Fi!
Jim:     another brain twister where I’ll be saying “Now wait a minute” every few minutes  with a puzzled look on my face.
Ken:    I usually pass on time-traveling movies but I like this premise. Time traveling in movies is a cool plot device but usually way overpowered. However, if time travel had a harmful side effect, and it reasons that ripping apart space/time would be dangerous, it wouldn’t be the most obvious solution to every problem, every time.

 

Mojave (Atlas) – Thriller
A suicidal artist goes into the desert, where he finds his doppelgänger, a homicidal drifter.

Rated R for language and some violence
Runtime 93m

https://youtu.be/2pwwVQ8YCl4

Chris: Effective enough trailer.  But not effective enough to get me all in with the tub of popcorn.
Jess:   No, so much no. This looks bad in every way.
Rob:    Pretty generic looking thriller.  Pass.
Jim:    nah.
Ken:    Can’t tell if this movie is for serious or a dark comedy.

Exposed

Chris:   I have to hand it to Keanu.  I have bagged on him for his monotone and one dimensional acting for a long time, but he has chosen some roles lately that have been well-suited for his style.  No different here.
Jess:    I really like Keanu the more I see what he chooses to to be in. I’d see this at home but it looks interesting and Keanu looks like he’s pretty solid in it.
Rob:    Looks pretty bad.  Cop’s partner hunts his killer.  Meh.
Jim:    I’m still hurting from the waste of time that was John Wick, but I might forgive Keanu—this one looks like it might be Ok, despite the tired plot. Would also be nice if Mira Sorvina had another role worthy of Mighty Aphrodite or Romy and Michelle.
Ken:    Whenever I see Keanu in a movie I think to myself, “this is what life would have been like if Neo took the blue pill.”

Tickets Purchased:  
One each for Synchronicity (Ken), The Boy (Jim), and Exposed (Chris).  
Two for Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Rob & Jess).

 

goodtobeking_jabba

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