Trailer Snark (July 10th 2015 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Note:  We want to send best wishes to our good friend Jim Cannizzaro, who is getting surgery done, and will not be with us for a time.  Please join us in keeping him in your thoughts.  And now, let’s get back to the fun….

The Gallows (Blumhouse) – Horror/Thriller
Rated R for some disturbing violent content and terror
Tag Line: Every school has it’s spirit.
Starring:  Reese Mishler, Pfeifer Brown, and Ryan Shoos
Plot:  20 years after a horrific accident during a small town school play, students at the school resurrect the failed show in a misguided attempt to honor the anniversary of the tragedy – but soon discover that some things are better left alone.
Running Time: 81 minutes

Jessica:  30 seconds into the trailer and I knew this was an at-home viewer. Haunted high school, blah.  And I love horror flicks, but this only looks OK.
Chris: My cousin asked me if I had seen the trailer to this one.  He could not stop gushing.  When I did see it, I wasn’t exactly blown away.  Summer horror usually gets more play in August after the blockbusters have made their mark.  Still might be a decent flick.
Rob: Haunted school.  Horror.  Meh.

Minions (Universal) – Family
Rated PG for action and rude humor
Tag Line: Meet Stuart, Kevin, and Bob.
Starring:  The voice talents of Sandra Bullock, Michael Keaton, and Jon Hamm.
Plot:  Minions Stuart, Kevin and Bob are recruited by Scarlet Overkill, a super-villain who, alongside her inventor husband Herb, hatches a plot to take over the world.
Running Time: 91 minutes

Rob: Banana!  A bit worried these little guys can’t carry a whole feature, but the trailer makes me think they might be able to with the help of Ms. Overkill.
Jessica: This trailer actually made me laugh so I might catch it at home eventually. I’m not usually a huge fan of kids movies.
Chris: Yes, the best thing about Despicable Me is many things…and they are Minions.  Its about time they get to run the show.  Count me in!

Self/less (Gramercy) – Thriller
Rated PG-13 for sequences of violence, some sexuality, and language
Tag Line: God created man. Man created immortality.
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Natalie Martinez, Matthew Goode, and Ben Kingsley
Plot: An extremely wealthy man, dying from cancer, undergoes a radical medical procedure that transfers his consciousness into the body of a healthy young man. But all is not as it seems when he starts to uncover the mystery of the body’s origin and the organization that will kill to protect its cause.
Running Time: 116 minutes

Chris: It has two of my favorites in Ryan Reynolds and Ben Kingsley.  This thriller does not seem like summer fare to me but I will catch it on Netflix for sure.
Jessica: Looks good, I enjoy both Reynolds and Kingsley. I’d def check it out.
Rob: Immortality has a price indeed.  Looks pretty cool in both premise and execution.  I’d give it a whirl.

Tangerine (Magnolia) – Comedy/Drama
Rated R for strong and disturbing sexual content, graphic nudity, language throughout, and drug use
Tag Line: N/A
Starring: Kitana Kiki Rodriguez and Mya Taylor
Plot: A working girl tears through Tinseltown on Christmas Eve searching for the pimp who broke her heart.
Running Time: 88 minutes
WARNING:  Only the unedited Red Band Trailer was available for viewing, which is not recommended for anyone under 17 years of age.

Rob: Can I have those two minutes of my life back please?  Garbage.
Chris: Is there a non-red band trailer for this movie?  I could not find it.  Anyway, its independent film schlock with two ladies of the night dealing with ladies of the night things.  Not my cup of tea.
Jessica: I don’t think it looks like trash, it looks like it could be really interesting but I’ll watch it at home, not in the theater.

Tickets Purchased:  2 for Minions (Rob and Chris), while Jessica watches Netflix at home.  🙂

Bruce the Minion
Bruce the Minion

What will you be seeing in theaters this week?
-The Great Stories Team

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