Trailer Snark (July 3rd 2015 Theatrical Trailers)

Welcome to Trailer Snark, a weekly column covering trailers for movies that will be released this week with thoughts from our roster of bloggers (Jessica from The Female Perspective, Ken from The Crank File, Jim from The Front Row View, Rob from Spector for Hire, and Great Stories founder Chris).  Thanks for reading, and enjoy the previews!

Terminator: Genisys (Paramount) – Action/Adventure/SciFi
Rated PG – 13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and gunplay throughout, partial nudity and brief strong language
Tag Line: The rules have been reset.
Starring:  Arnold Schwarzenegger, Emilia Clarke, Jason Clarke, and Courtney Jai
Plot: John Connor sends Kyle Reese back in time to protect Sarah Connor, but when he arrives in 1984, nothing is as he expected it to be.
Running Time: 125 minutes

Jessica: I’m having a hard time with this, I mean, I LOVE the Terminator franchise (I even solider through the 3rd one every so often) but something about this one leaves me feeling blah, but I’ll most likely check it out.
Chris: After the last couple of ho hum sequels, I am a bit hesitant.  The trailer does a good sales job though.
Rob: Emilia Clarke?  Yes, please.  Skynet?  Yes, please.  Arnold?  Yes, please.  Solid movie franchise, and yes…I’ll be back.
Ken: Haven’t watched a Terminator movie since #2, which was wayyy back in ’91.  Every character in the Terminator universe has been recast except for Schwarzenegger.   How is Arnold still making these movies? Do they ever explain how the Terminator ages?
Jim: The trailer does a good job of making a sagging franchise look interesting. I’d see it.

Magic Mike XXL (Warner Bros) – Comedy/Drama
Rated R for strong sexual content, pervasive language, some nudity and drug use
Tag Line: Back to the grind.
Starring: Channing Tatum, Joe Manganiello, Matt Bomer, and Kevin Nash
Plot: Three years after Mike bowed out of the stripper life at the top of his game, he and the remaining Kings of Tampa hit the road to Myrtle Beach to put on one last blow-out performance.
Running Time: 115 minutes

Ken: Ha, good one Chris. Trying to make us watch the Magic Mike trailer.  
Jessica: I’m a lady so I am the core audience for this one, that said, I didn’t LOVE the first one but I’m not ashamed that once i heard there was MORE dancing that I got interested. Yep, I’ll go see it, that Channing Tatum is one smooth dancer…he can Channing MY Tatum anytime (gross but i had to do it).
Jim:  Well, not exactly a movie genre that I’m particularly into, but I have to admit that the first one was well done by a great cast and director Steven Soderbergh. Like the first one, I’ll probably watch this once on video and be done with it. Honest!
Chris: I’ll leave it to Jess to tell me how magical this one was.
Rob: Not even going to watch the trailer.

Cartel Land (The Orchard) – Documentary/Action/Drama
Rated R for violent disturbing images, language, drug content and brief sexual material
Tag Line: None
Plot: A physician in Michoacán, Mexico leads a citizen uprising against the drug cartel that has wreaked havoc on the region for years. Across the U.S. border, a veteran heads a paramilitary group working to prevent Mexico’s drug wars from entering U.S. territory.
Running Time:  98 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkYBbBK0qoM
Chris: Wow.  This is the real deal.  Probably the biggest threat to America lies directly south.  This defines brave film-making.
Jim: Like Ken, I usually don’t see docs in the theater, but this looks good enough to check out at home.
Rob: Looks amazing.  There’s a world of s*** happening out there and this documentary looks to shine a light on some of the darker things taking place in our own back yard.
Ken: I love documentaries, but I hate watching them at the theater.  Cartel Land looks like a pulse pounding, thriller. Will check this one out at home.
Jessica: Looks absolutely fascinating, I’d check it out on Netflix or Amazon.

Jimmy’s Hall (Sony Picture Classics) – Drama
Rated PG-13 for language and a scene of violence
Tag Line: Where everything goes and everyone belongs.
Starring: Barry Ward, Frances Magee, and Aileen Henry
Plot: During the Depression, Jimmy Gralton returns home to Ireland after ten years of exile in America. Seeing the levels of poverty and oppression, the activist in him reawakens and he looks to re-open the dance hall that led to his deportation.
Running Time: 109 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfyEgOAEJGEKen: Love the set designs, costuming and sure to have an amazing sound track.
Jessica: I’m a sucker for a true story, especially an IRISH true story (being an Irish lass myself), looks decent.
Chris: It’s a more edgy Irish version of Footloose with less bacon.
Rob: Looks solid with a compelling story and strong characters. Will check it out down the road as a rental.
Jim: Looks interesting and passionate—— —. Soundtrack might be worth getting.
Jackie & Ryan (Entertainment One) – Drama
Rated PG-13 for brief strong language and some suggestive material
Tag Line: Sometimes they stay.  Sometimes they go.
Starring: Katherine Heigl, Ben Barnes, and Clea DuVall,
Plot: A modern day train hopper fighting to become a successful musician, and a single mom battling to maintain custody of her daughter, defy their circumstances by coming together in a relationship that may change each others lives forever.
Running Time: 90 minutes

Jim: I usually like Katharine Heigl (unlike seemingly half the world population), but this one looks pretty formulaic and predictable.
Rob: Looks decent.  Possible rental.
Chris: Is it possible to fall asleep in the space of a 1 minute and 46 second trailer?  Yep.
Jessica: Ugh, I’m all set, I will PASS on this one – mostly because I cannot stand Heigl.
Ken: Snoooze.

Tickets Purchased: 3 for Terminator: Genisys (Rob, Ken, and Jim), 1 for Magic Mike XXL (Jessica), and 1 for Cartel Land (Chris)

Ah-nuld is determined to be a star again.  Is a number one box office showing possible?
Ah-nuld is determined to be a star again. Is a number one box office showing possible?

What will you be going to see at theaters this weekend?
-The Great Stories Team

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