The Female Perspective: Confusing Feminism With Anger

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Today I came across a compilation video of women hitting men (after they supposedly hit the women first), I watched it with a dawning sense of annoyance. Not anger, but annoyance. The person who put together the video clearly is not versed in the difference between an angry person and a feminist.

Before I say more, here is the link to the video in question.

Be warned that the video includes violence and some foul language.


The video starts off harmless enough, showing a 1950’s “Manners” video about how women should let men help them, they like it! Fine. I can deal with that, seeing stuff like this from the days before the feminist movement make me laugh, it was a different time, a different world. We then fast forward to the 1970’s and how women simply want what men have always been able to have. That makes sense to me and it’s important to note, it’s not about being angry, it’s simply about wanting equality.

Then…well then, inexplicably,  we start seeing women beating up on men, screaming at them, urging them into violence. I watched it with a growing sense of annoyance. These women are not feminists, they are angry. I think in today’s world people become confused between anger and feminism. If a women expresses distaste or dismay at something that is unfair, we call her an angry feminist. Even if that woman is well-spoken. Even if that woman is articulating a reasoned argument in a calm voice. A video like this only promotes the idea that all feminists are angry. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. It also confuses angry women with feminists.

Yes, there are angry feminists, of course there are. Just like there are angry men and women in every social movement around the globe. They are (hopefully) the minority but they often speak with the loudest voice. To create and post a video like this is unfair to women and feminists. We only see a brief moment in time, an argument that has no context. We see women losing control, pushing men (both literally and figuratively) until they get what they want, a punch or a slap so that they can then attack with a reason. So that they can then say “Well, he hit me first.”

It’s disgusting, it’s unfair and it’s NOT even close to a fair representation of women.

Part of the issue with being a feminist is being instantly stereotyped as being a man-hating, angry woman.
Part of the issue with being a feminist is being instantly stereotyped as being a man-hating, angry woman.

Anger is a totally different topic from feminism. An angry woman is not always a feminist, just like an angry black man is not always fighting for civil rights. There are extremists in every movement and they give the rest of us a bad name. It’s important that we remind people, calmly and rationally, that not every one of us is angry. Not every one of us is out to beat down our “male oppressors” and not every one of us assumes that all men deserve to be hit or persecuted.

I want it made abundantly clear, hitting (or any physical violence) is never okay. Words are far more powerful than fists can ever be.

To the person who created this video – shame on you for putting it out there that angry women are feminists. That nice guys don’t deserve to be commended for being nice, that nice guys don’t get the lady because they are “too nice”. I laughed at that because I was once told by a guy (a rather mean one it turned out) that I was “too nice” and that I would never be able to survive in this world. I’ll tell you what, he was wrong and I am quite happy and I’m still nice. This video promotes generic stereotypes. It doesn’t come close to touching on the real face of feminism Where are your calm women of power like Michelle Obama? Or Angelina Jolie or Gloria Steinem? Where are they in this mishmash of nonsense you call feminism?

I suggest that whoever created the video go back to school and learn a little bit about what it means to be an activist and what it means to just be angry.

No matter what you think of Hilary, she makes an excellent point!
No matter what you think of Hilary, she makes an excellent point!

What do YOU think? Sound off in the comments!

7 thoughts on “The Female Perspective: Confusing Feminism With Anger

  1. Feminism helps children, women and men.

  2. Yes! Feminism is about equality, plain and simple.

  3. Feminism is not specific to any gender. Any person of any gender can identify as feminist if they believe in equality. Feminism is not synonymous as men-hating.

  4. While feminism is not the same as anger, women are allowed to be angry in public because of feminism. There is a combination of honest confusion along with the push back that all women who are feminists must be angry.

    I’m rarely angry, though I call myself a feminist. I am indignant, hurt, offended, dis-satisfied, and outraged where appropriate but I don’t stomp through my life with a scowl shaking my fist being all “MEEEEEN!!!” like many opponents would like to paint feminism.

    The sad thing is that there are several discouraging points in that “feminist” video.
    1. Someone thought it was progress that a women would/could defend herself when attacked.
    2. In some ways, it is progress that the woman would/could defend herself when publicly attacked.
    3. It’s “progressive” to side with the attacked woman vs the male attacker and this video highlights that at least the poster thought it was an edgy new stance.
    4. Women are assaulted and victimized far more frequently than men. So much so that we assume victimns of attacks are either women or children. I would even go so far as to classify all acts of violence a “womens issue” as is effects women so strongly.
    5. Revenge fantasy, is a genre of movie for this reason. Usually is classified as “rape revenge” or “domestic violence revenge” and it’s marketed for women with success. Perhaps this person felt those genres were “feminist” for some reason (which they’re not) and that this had parallels.

    I don’t know, I think it makes me more sad than angry to thing that this is all the work we still have to do to clear up the “female” perspective. None of this even begins to cover how feminism could and does positively change the male role/perspective too.

  5. I agree, the battle for equality is something that I don’t think will ever be truly “won”, I become discouraged like anyone else but I continue to call myself a feminist with pride and for any who assume that means I hate men, I simply smile and list all the reasons I love men. This one video is a good example of the bigger issue with the misconception and/or hatred of the feminists. The person who put this together clearly has feelings about feminists that I don’t agree with in the least. I thank you for your heartfelt and well thought out remarks.

  6. Through my travels I have noticed that people view feminism and anger as going hand in hand. As I have studied social work I have been around many feminists of whom most are fighting for equality with out the stereotypical “anger” that is portrayed both by the media and society at large. The oppressing powers that be want society to see feminists as angry unbalanced individuals which in turn affects their credibility. Its easy to dismiss someone that is angry as just being that without having to give their message any credence, the more credibility a movement or individual has the more unifying they are for an issue.

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