Welcome! This blog is written by author J.L. Metcalf and will chat about comics, movies, garden gnomes, ghosts or even books and daily life. It is a place where I offer my ladylike perspective on anything and everything my brain can think of.
I honestly don’t remember when leggings became a fashion staple. I remember wearing them a lot as a child of the 80’s and then they faded out. Now they’re back and it appears they are here to stay. How do I know this for sure? Well, for one, they manage to cause controversy on a semi-regular basis. Recently, a woman named Veronica Partridge, a Christian blogger, denounced leggings because she wanted to “honor God and husband“
While I whole-heartedly respect her right to choose whatever she wants to wear, I find it ridiculous that she is blaming leggings for her husbands (and any mans) wandering eye.
Apparently, a discussion about the skin-tight garment led Partridge’s husband to confess to her that “it’s hard not to look” when he goes somewhere filled with leggings-clad women. “I try not to, but it’s not easy,” he told her, according to her to blog.
So let me get this straight? Your husband admitted that he looks at other women in leggings and you then basically go forth and blame the women for wearing leggings? I’m confused, when did it become OK to blame a fashion choice on a mans wandering eye? Last I checked, your husbands will was his own and if he wants to check out some ladies bottoms in leggings than OK, he’s a red-blooded man and that’s NORMAL. Heck! I check out guys all the time! There was once a man in the yoga studio where I worked that wore tight spandex shorts and let me tell you, it was hard NOT to look at him but I managed to not look. Never once did I blame him for wearing those shorts. My eyes are my own and where they look, yep, it’s my choice!
It’s reasonable to not want people to stare at you. I get that, but her blog doesn’t seem to reflect that idea, instead, she is doing it for her husband and God instead of for herself. From her blog,
If it is difficult for my husband who loves, honors, and respects me to keep his eyes focused ahead, then how much more difficult could it be for a man that may not have the same self-control? Sure, if a man wants to look, they are going to look, but why entice them? Is it possible that the thin, form-fitting yoga pants or leggings could make a married (or single) man look at a woman in a way he should only look at his wife?
Entice? That’s what leggings do? They entice men to stare at our booty? I got news for you sister, men are gonna look at our parts no matter what we are wearing. It’s kind of what happens. Is it OK? No. Is it annoying? Sometimes. I don’t see any type of solution for it because even in countries where they wear burka’s women are getting attacked and raped.
I think the bigger problem here is that we are once again blaming the wearer for the problem, rather than the perpetrator of the gaze. Victim shaming is not OK but it is rampant in our society. I want it made clear that Partridge can do whatever she wants and I respect that. What I take umbrage with is the fact that she isn’t blaming her husband for not being able to control himself, instead, she blames herself for wearing the pants. From the Huffington Post article on Partridge’s blog, they mention that leggings and yoga pants have been banned from some schools,
Leggings are banned in middle schools and high schools throughout the country, sometimes under the premise of not distracting male students. Parents at a middle school in Evanston, Illinois, spoke out against the dress code last year, saying the policy sent an “antiquated and warped message” that “shifts the blame for boy’s behavior or lack of academic concentration, directly onto the girls.”
Exactly my point.
Come on ladies, we need to stop blaming ourselves for the inadequacies of others (I don’t just mean men either). Don’t shame or blame the victim, blame the perpetrator. Self-control is a choice people. A CHOICE. You can decide not to look (as I did when that dude was wearing his tight shorts) or you can choose to look. It may not be easy, but I know for damn sure that it’s not the fault of pants wearer.
Change starts with us, let’s make meme’s like the one below disappear by owning our choices instead of tossing blame at other people who don’t deserve it.
What do YOU think? Are leggings a gateway pant to looser morals? Are they Satan’s pants? Or should we start blaming the lookie-loo who can’t stop staring? Sound off in the comments!